Laughter is a survival mechanism. Some people use it to deal with stress—I use it to cope with the fact that my homemade gluten-free doughnuts once had the consistency of industrial-grade rubber. Life has a way of throwing ridiculous moments at me, and I’ve learned that if I don’t laugh, I’ll probably just end up staring blankly into space, questioning my choices.
So, in the spirit of self-deprecating honesty, here’s a collection of things that never fail to make me laugh—mostly at my own expense.
Food Fails: My Ongoing Battle with Gluten-Free Baking
I love cooking, but sometimes, food fights back. Specifically, gluten-free food, which operates under a completely different set of scientific principles than its gluten-filled counterpart. For example, I have produced a batch of Yorkshire puddings so flat and lifeless that they resembled sad, deflated pancakes.
And yet, I keep trying because the odds are that about 1 in 10 of my cooking experiments goes wrong, which isn’t too bad I suppose.
Almost Eating Gluten-Free Dog Treats
This is a true story that I really wish wasn’t true. I was at Milton Keynes shopping centre when a very enthusiastic woman at vendor stall offered me a sample of what I assumed was a gluten-free biscuit. It looked like a biscuit, smelled like a biscuit, and—most importantly—was labelled ‘gluten-free.’
Luckily, before I took a bite, I decided to ask what it was. “Oh, they’re dog treats!” she replied cheerfully. “My cocker spaniel loves them!”
Now, a normal person might have laughed this off, politely declined, and walked away. But my brain, in a state of sheer panic, decided that the best course of action was to pretend I had a dog and awkwardly mumble something about taking some home for “him.” I have no dog. I have never had a dog. And yet, I doubled down on this lie because, in that moment, admitting I had almost eaten pet food was apparently too much for my dignity to handle.
To this day, I wonder if she saw through me.
Bad Food Photography: A Talent I Didn’t Ask For
I love sharing my gluten-free food on social media, but I have an undeniable gift for making my meals look deeply unappetising in photos. No matter how good something tastes, the camera somehow transforms it into what can only be described as ‘a crime against cuisine.’
Lighting is my greatest enemy. Either my food looks like it was photographed in a dungeon, or it’s so overexposed it resembles an otherworldly apparition. And don’t even get me started on my ability to make a perfectly normal meal look like it was thrown at a plate from across the room.
At this point, I should just start branding my photography as ‘authentically rustic.’ Or, failing that, I could just lean into the chaos and start a series called “Gluten-Free, but Make It Ugly.”
Final Thoughts (or: Why I Shouldn’t Be Left Unsupervised)
Whether it’s my disastrous baking, my near-miss with dog biscuits, or my questionable photography skills, there’s no shortage of things to keep me humble and make me laugh. As they say laughter is the best medicine.
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