A secret skill I have? The uncanny ability to detect gluten in a dish before even asking. It’s like a superpower, except instead of using it for good, I just get to ruin my own dinner plans. “Oh wow, you made a special gluten-free lasagne for me? That’s so kind! Just one tiny question… why does it smell suspiciously like actual lasagne?” Cue the awkward silence.
As for a skill I wish I had? The power to transform any gluten-free bread into something that doesn’t double as a doorstop. Imagine a world where sandwiches aren’t a jaw workout and toast doesn’t shatter like safety glass. But alas, my only real ability is pretending I love yet another mediocre, overpriced loaf.



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