If a Toffee Crisp, Boost, and Kinder Bueno had a love child and made it gluten free — this is what it might look like. Clearly AI-generated, because I don’t have the budget, skills, or factory to make this kind of wizardry.
My dream chocolate bar? Easy. It’s the unholy love child of a Toffee Crisp, a Boost, and a Kinder Bueno — raised gluten free and given a proper personality.
Start with that crispy puffed rice layer from a Toffee Crisp (because snap and crunch is non-negotiable), then throw in some thick, gooey caramel that strings when you bite into it — the proper kind that threatens to glue your teeth together, not that half-hearted supermarket version.
Then we swirl in the smooth hazelnut cream from a Bueno. Honestly, I’d just bathe in that stuff if it were socially acceptable. And just because I’m building this from scratch, let’s add a ribbon of fudge too — rich, chocolatey, and entirely unnecessary in the best possible way.
The whole thing’s wrapped in velvety milk chocolate. Proper chocolate. None of that fake “chocolate-flavoured coating” nonsense. It’s gluten free, coeliac-safe, and doesn’t taste like cardboard or broken dreams.
I’d call it something dramatic like “The Bueno Boost Crisp Bar of Glory.” Or maybe just “Ben’s Bar” with a big smug grin on the wrapper.
While my dream bar sadly doesn’t exist (yet), the closest I’ve found in real life is the Melto by Schär — an absolute gem of a gluten free dupe for the Kinder Bueno. Creamy, crispy, and coeliac-safe, it’s basically the bar that gives me hope we’re edging closer to snack-based perfection.
Tagline:
“May contain joy. Definitely doesn’t contain gluten.”



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